Fridays usually meant going out with friends, family or the hubby.
It was surely going to be fun.
So Fridays really make me feel excited!

Then I stepped into motherhood.
And my definition of Fridays have changed.
Don’t get me wrong. I love being a Mom.
It puts me in a different level of contentment in my life.

On the flipside of it, Fridays make me sad somehow.
Despite the busy week, I noticed I miss Mommy more on Fridays.
Maybe because we talk more/FaceTime on Fridays and over the weekend.
Or maybe it’s the conversations we usually
have that I miss.

Pains me not hear her opinion on something that crosses my curiousity.
I yearn for her wisdom.
It can be as simple as talking about the next recipe I want to try, motherhood or parenting, or planning the next holiday.
It’s the little things.

Now, I just have to learn to make new habits, new traditions.
Sucks that she is not going to be physically included.
But no matter what, she is a part of me forever.
My Mommy is always in my heart.

Oh well, life sucks.

Then I see my little daughter.
How she lights up when she sees me.
My broken heart is now alive and stitched back up.

Really, it sucks to be me right now.

So I am happy and contented.
But at the same time, I am still grieving.
Maybe, that’s it.
Because there is so much pain in my heart, whenever I see love, it makes me see the happiness life brings.

Oh well, Fridays.