It’s amazing how lucky I am to have a daughter like mine.
She is sweet.
She is funny.
And she’s just 19 months old.
Whenever I am down, this little girls smile gives me incredible strength.
She inspires me and makes me a better person.
Being a mother has changed me. And I love what I see.
Amazing how one little person can give me so much love, strength and inspiration.
I love you, anak.❤️
People may think it’s all easy for me, for us..
Maybe because we smile, we laugh, and try to live as if nothing changed.
But that is not the truth.
Our lives will never be the same after losing you.
We miss you everyday.
It hurts most days, while other times, it’s okay.
I close my eyes and think about you. And it’s like you’re just a call away.
Then it hits me, you won’t answer anymore.
I look back to our conversations, chats, voicemails, videos and photos.
Damn.
It hurts.
To realize that you won’t be there when I come.
How my day went, that I cannot share to you anymore.
I won’t be able to hear you comfort me.
Or scold me. Or hear your voice of reason.
To finally accept that you’re gone is my goal.
But only God knows how long this yearning will be.
It may be forever.
Or until I get to see you soon.
Lately, the reality that I am coming back to Cebu to visit my Mommy has been hard for me..
I toss and turn.
Not knowing what to do or how I’d feel.
Until I surrender, f*ck this sh*t! No more denying how I feel!
I realize now, it’s okay to be sad.
Well, to simply put it, this song entitled Take me out of the Dark describes how I feel inside.
Take me out of the Dark
by: Gary Valenciano
Just what is it in me?
Sometimes I just don’t know
What keeps me in your love
Why you never let me go
And though you’re in me now
I fall and hurt you still
My Lord, please show me how
To know just how you feel
You have forgiven me
Too many times it seems
I feel I’m not what you might call
A worthy Christian after all
And though I Love You so
Temptation finds its way to me
Teach me to trust in you with all of my heart
To lean not on my own understanding
Coz I just forget
You won’t give me what I can’t bear
Take me out of the dark, my Lord
I don’t wanna be there