People may think it’s all easy for me, for us..
Maybe because we smile, we laugh, and try to live as if nothing changed.
But that is not the truth.
Our lives will never be the same after losing you.

We miss you everyday.
It hurts most days, while other times, it’s okay.
I close my eyes and think about you. And it’s like you’re just a call away.
Then it hits me, you won’t answer anymore.

I look back to our conversations, chats, voicemails, videos and photos.
Damn.
It hurts.
To realize that you won’t be there when I come.

How my day went, that I cannot share to you anymore.
I won’t be able to hear you comfort me.
Or scold me. Or hear your voice of reason.
To finally accept that you’re gone is my goal.

But only God knows how long this yearning will be.
It may be forever.
Or until I get to see you soon.

Lately, the reality that I am coming back to Cebu to visit my Mommy has been hard for me..
I toss and turn.
Not knowing what to do or how I’d feel.

Until I surrender, f*ck this sh*t! No more denying how I feel!
I realize now, it’s okay to be sad.

Well, to simply put it, this song entitled Take me out of the Dark describes how I feel inside.

Take me out of the Dark
by: Gary Valenciano

Just what is it in me?
Sometimes I just don’t know
What keeps me in your love
Why you never let me go

And though you’re in me now
I fall and hurt you still
My Lord, please show me how
To know just how you feel

You have forgiven me
Too many times it seems
I feel I’m not what you might call
A worthy Christian after all

And though I Love You so
Temptation finds its way to me

Teach me to trust in you with all of my heart
To lean not on my own understanding
Coz I just forget

You won’t give me what I can’t bear
Take me out of the dark, my Lord
I don’t wanna be there

So, I’m briefly back after being on hiatus. A lot of things has happened. Literally.

I was supposed to post about our wedding but never had the time to do so. 

Then, we got pregnant. So, that took all of my time. 

We became parents. Best thing ever! But 24 hours a day is just not enough after all.?

Everyone was missing our girl. So we keep on flying back and forth Manila. That took more time. And energy.

Then hubby’s birthday. Then, my birthday. Christmas. New Year.

Sadly, I lost someone very close to me. It’s still very hard for me until this day.

We had to move on. No choice.

My daughter turned one year old. It was a joyous occassion, filled with so much love from our family and friends!

I never knew you can be happy even when you’re sadly grieving.

And now I am back.